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Poetry
by DorisT @ 2006-05-09 - 12:48:49

Do you have a favorite poet? I have, and her name is Pam Ayres. This is what she's written about our Deputy Prime Minister.

I am ready Mr Prescott
You can take me in your arms
All these years I've waited
To experience your charms
So fling aside those trousers
I hope they're quick release
For all that hanky panky's
Made you clinically obese

I like a man of substance
I like a man of size
Especially when I'm measuring
The bags beneath their eyes
If anyone insulted me
I have no doubt at all
You'd leap to my defence
And punch the blighter through the wall

I like you Mr Prescott
A constant watch I keep
To see you on TV
Sat next to Tony, fast asleep
So I'm waiting Mr Prescott
My toothbrush in my bag
To see your chiselled jaw
Behind the wheel of either Jag

A man like you is dangerous
A man like you is trouble
Just like a row of houses
You demolished me to rubble
With one hand on the tiller
As steady as a rock
And the other disappearing
Up the secretary's frock!

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sixpencesixpence pro
2006-05-09 @ 19:43

Pam's the best: can't argue with that. I saw her live in Colchester with my mum and her set was all done out like a nice living room with comfy flowery sofas. Splendid beyond compare.

:)

dennypoosdennypoos [Member]
2006-05-10 @ 10:33

Ah dearest Pam, how nice to see she's pushing the boundaries for all poets and not pushing up Daisies.

[Visitor]

2006-05-10 @ 10:58

hmmmm Try Mr David Thewllis's poetry..rather angst but brilliant lol. no..im not biased.

AngeniusAngenius [Member]
2006-05-11 @ 11:00

Q. What do John Prescott and an MFI wardrobe have in common?

A. A few loose screws here and there and the whole cabinet falls apart..

Shit i know but hey.. it's relevant!

dennypoosdennypoos [Member]
2006-05-11 @ 12:17

MFI furniture and the like is known as supositry furniture.............because you put it up yourself.

MichaelStMarkMichaelStMark pro
2006-05-12 @ 08:08

Phew! Was getting a bit worried approaching the last line, Doris. Thankfully saved by the frock, in the end.

But the poem - bit Jack and Jill isn't it?

[Visitor]

2006-05-12 @ 21:05

Mr Prescott looks like one of our dinner ladies at school. She always snots in the shepherd's pie.

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DorisTDorisT [Member]
http://mrstuttle.blog.co.uk/
2006-05-12 @ 22:37

I think you need taking in hand, child.

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[Visitor]

2006-05-12 @ 23:51

If anyone takes my hand I'll do 'em for kiddy fiddlin' Miss

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[Visitor]

2006-05-12 @ 23:52

How's your Dougie doin' Miss?

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DorisTDorisT [Member]
http://mrstuttle.blog.co.uk/
2006-05-13 @ 13:15

Last I saw of him he was off to stake his hollyhocks ready for tomorrow.

You're not one of those FAKE bloggers, I trust??

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[Visitor]

2006-05-13 @ 14:43

I'm as real as you are Miss ;)

Hollyhocks. I don't like hockey. Don't like any type of sport at school. I just give the teech a note sayin I'm in the club miss

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DorisTDorisT [Member]
http://mrstuttle.blog.co.uk/
2006-05-13 @ 15:37

You should come and watch Oxton Hockey Club in action. Some fine young lads. They don't allow gals, of course.

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eggbodeggbod [Member]
http://wordworld.blog.co.uk
2006-05-14 @ 18:43

BTW are you, or your Dougie related to Robert Holmes Tuttle - the bolshie American who refused to pay the congestion charge last week?

He's a keen gardener too! Fond of lobelia in his rockery

| Show this thread
DorisTDorisT [Member]
http://mrstuttle.blog.co.uk/
2006-05-14 @ 21:53

I most certainly am not, and I hope that isn't some vile euphemism.

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eggbodeggbod [Member]
http://wordworld.blog.co.uk
2006-05-15 @ 00:11

Tut! Tut! Mrs Tuttle I trust you did not take umbrage at my remark.

Vile euphemism indeed! My exposure to vile euphoniums is fortunately limited to a rather otiose musical effort for the friends of the Landican Cemetary last xmas. You'll be pleased to hear that I've since sold it on ebay.

I do so hope that clears up any misunderstandings dear

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suzeemoonsuzeemoon [Member]
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
2006-05-20 @ 12:07

:D :D :D

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JuzzzyJuzzzy pro
http://juzzzy.blog.co.uk
2006-09-30 @ 15:19

Where have you been all my life, Doris?

The dental work alone...

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DorisTDorisT [Member]
http://mrstuttle.blog.co.uk/
2006-09-30 @ 15:26

...and I've been reading all that stuff about how you still ache for me. Well if you play your cards right, we'll see.

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[Visitor]

2006-11-13 @ 15:20

Please sir, may I have some more.

deleted user [Visitor]

2006-11-21 @ 23:50

Just checking in to be sure that you are still alive and kicking.

PompadourPompadour [Member]
2006-12-02 @ 16:12

Thanx 4 posting that. I heard it on radio and liked it, also her other one about surgically enhanced. But on budget and can't afford book.
Anyway, I my be weird but I quite fancy John Prescott. He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend.

emmairvineemmairvine [Member]
2007-01-22 @ 10:34

Fab!

suzeemoonsuzeemoon [Member]
http://suzeemoon.friendpages.com/
2007-03-12 @ 23:27

Hey Doris,
Where are you? I miss you... I just spotted you lurking.....
Suzee
xxxx
[comon as muck and proud of it!]

deleted user [Visitor]
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/whereloveis/
2007-07-11 @ 19:36

Pam Ayres rocks! But to really appreciate her, you have to hear her, not just read her. Oh my, that Oxfordshire burr - it's enough to make a lady forget she's a lady! LOL

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